Mhambi has been redeployed.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Welcome to our country

Mhambi often wishes he could write better. My writing is wooden.

Originally uploaded by theGentleman™.

Yesterday my inadequacy was reinforced when I met Kleinboer - the boer with the potent libidinous inter-racial libido and disarming words. To him Johannesburg has swapped "kont vir klont, en kondoom vir helmet." (Cunt for gold nuggets, and condoms for hard hats)

Once dubbed the Michel Houllebecq * of Afrikaans, no other than André Brink praised Kleinboer's first book Kontrei.

"Kontrei is a fucking good book. It is one of the most agreeable reads in a long time... A man who can write like this knows his job." said the fellow Lothario.

(* Like Houllebecq's Asian prostitutes, Kleinboer reckons black girls often enjoy their work. Not so the white girls.)

My first neighbourhood - Yeoville
Originally uploaded by ambermbabane.

A very friendly Kleinboer took me round his hood. Yeoville is where I occasionally hung out when I was younger, and where most whitey progressives and artists lived.

Today Kleinboer is one of very very few whites in the area. He bought a house here in the early 90's, from a couple traumatised during a violent break in.

Kleinboer looks at utter ease.

"This is the building where the guy from the band Koos jumped off the balcony", he gestures to a block of flats. It's a bit low I tell him. I mean, theres no certainty in jumping off that building you will die?

"This is where James Phillips lived."

We spot an old white guy. "The only whites left in the area are old ones to poor to immigrate."

Every now and again somebody greets him and asks after his wife.

Kleinboer reckons the area has already hit rock bottom and is now on the way up. Not to long ago his house was worth R100000. Now he thinks its three times that. It's all because of the immigrants he reckons. Especially the Congolese, and the Nigerians. He says that although he thinks about 50% of the blacks in the area are South African, 80% of the businesses are run by immigrants.

He also reckons the variety and kinds of foods to be found in the various new restaurants, trumps the local fare.

He loves the area, but he concedes, he does not have any black friends with whom he can discuss the things that matter to him. For interaction he goes onto the net, Litnet to be exact.

Currently he is upset about all these name changes, he tells me. He has book of the history of place names of South Africa.

Kleinboer took me in to a lively Congolese bar. We were greeted by a gentleman with a heavy French African accent and an old style Pretoria mustache.

"Welcome to our country!" he said, while shaking our hands vociferously.

"You must come back in 2010."

Kleinboer protested, but not too much.

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Fanie said...


Kleinboer here. Please change "helmut" in the next to "helmet".


Wessel said...

oops! met 'n groot plesier

lyk my ek het nie net parlementariers wat my blog lees nie, maar ook bekroonde skrywers!

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