Mhambi has been redeployed.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Why do lesbians dress so badly?

...and gay boys look so great? Mmmmm....?

I'm talking on average of course. And ok, the average gay man is not a paragon of good taste and creative couture either. Anybody that has been to a gay club recently can attest to a near uniform and monotonous sea of muscle Maries, decked out with the same close hair crops, jeans, white t-shirts or pectorals.

But boy, the high level of self imposed body fascism to get those washboard stomachs *aer* evident.

But my contention still is that gay men do tend to spend more time on their appearance than the average bloke. AND the average lesbian does tend to spend less time and effort on theirs, than her straight gender-sake.

What could explain this phenomena? Are gay men more female like and lesbians more manly? That's just too crude an explanation.

This is my theory. (It does not take into account things like hormones etc but rather the social manifestations of human behavior.)

My theory is that the answer is tied up in male and female sexuality, what we desire and importantly what we need to do to be desired.

Straight male sexuality is all about desiring the other, the so-called sex object. It is often stated that male sexuality is visual and rather shallow. And that straight female sexuality is about being desired. For females it is said it is more about personalities and the emotional feelings their partner conjures.

Now when we have two males, they still desire like males do, their mate is the sex object, but they too are in turn also being desired and the sex object. The result is that both tend to spend allot of time on their appearance.

With lesbians it works the other way around. Being female, they do not desire a sex object. As a result neither needs to look at their best to get some attention.

This simple theory explains allot of things. For instance why you often see well kept females as partners with burly badly dressed men. This is why straight females openly say they find other females attractive, but their partners will be reluctant to admit the same of a male.

It also could explain why in swinger circles sexual activity revolves around the females. The gals can have other gals, and guys. But the guys can't be seen to be involved with other guys.

This is not because men are not bi-curious like allot of females seem to be. (Many young straight boys had some sexual encounters with their pals when they were out camping).

It is because for females male on male action severely threatens the way they as females see themselves sexually. Most straight women just don't find two men having sex sexy. Men don't go in homo territory in conversations with their female partners or when swinging for fear of not being sexy.

On the other hand they will freely admit that they find the idea of two girls together very titillating, and their girlfriends might nod approvingly.

This desiring of shallow physical beauty and the response to it could also partially explain why gay men have such promiscuous sex lives and multiple short relationships.

And this theory could explain on the other hand why lesbians tend to have more stable long term relationships.

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Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

Interesting theory. Male homosexuality seems to be based in narcissism and lesbianism in something else - I don't know what because I'm not a lesbian.

dave bones said...

This is a lot of generalisation and in all cases the opposite is also true and quite obviously so in London.

sterflikemens said...


Dit sal beter wees as jy die seksuele en politieke dinge sky in aparte blogs.
Ek hou van die stuk oor 'His big white self' , en het dit selfs aanbeveel op muti

Maar die mengsel hier van naakfotos en politiek herriner sterk aan 'The Sun'

bcj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I didn't even bother reading the whole post. I have a better question for you: Why do you care what lesbians do? You've probably not even met any. I'm a lesbian, and I take care in how I look! Not all women live to dress up for men. Get over your sad self.

Anonymous said...

Gay men are just as capable of having long, stable relationships as lesbians are of having short, shallow relationships. It's not a sexual orientation thing, it's an individual person thing.

Wessel said...

Capable yes, but in practise?

Wessel said...

toastyyowler, if you read the post you'd see that we actually agree.